Reflections on the day, Saturday, July 17, 2010

Reflections on the day. I was really busy today and did not have a chance to do art, but I wrote this free form poem.



Revealing more and more of my heart,
The lack of contentment within,
The old familiar lie revealed,
You are just like my father,
Your only plans are for my destruction,
So much wrestling to let that go,
So much struggling to be free from that sin,
And yet it remains and rears its ugly head again.
I am confronted with my sin by a trusted leader;
I would have run away before;
I would not have even sat in the room,
I would have destroyed myself in some way.
This moment I turn to You and weep and mourn,
What a wretch of a creature I am!!!
All of my righteousness like filthy rages;
A constant reminder that I am nothing without Christ,
Exposure of the demand to get it right to be free from pain;
Your words echo, “In this world you will have trouble,
But take heart, I have overcome the world.”


But what does it mean that You have overcome the world?
Satan appears to still have dominion over this world,
Our flesh is still as corrupt as it was the day we were born,
Evil is all around, decay rules the earth,
Trouble and suffering are the norm,
When is the overcome part,
Where is the King will rule on His throne forever?
You seem so far away when I want You very near,
So intangible; when I want You to have arms and legs and feet.
You have given me so much, revealed so much,
And I do not understand why I cannot be satisfied;
I want so much more of Your revelation.
Why am I never content Abba?

Lost Sheep, Thursday, July 15, 2010

Lost sheep wandering around in the darkness,
Living as if life is fine and under control,
Yet totally bond by Satan’s lies and sin.
The light shines through the narrow crack in the heart;
Some quickly receive it but then turn away,
Some shut it out immediately, hiding deeper within,
Some grab hold not fully realizing but embracing.

What of those who turn away and hide?
I did that so long myself for so many years,
Embracing some of the light, but living in so much bondage,
You still reveal to me more and more light as I grow.
But my heart aches for these lost sheep that cross my path,
All I have to give is our story and Your light;
The passion, love, and compassion are overwhelming.

The long time question remains for all of us:
Are You truly the God You say You are?
Sovereign, loving, holy, just, good, in control of all. . . .
Will I trust You with the lost sheep I see?
They are really Your sheep, not mine;
You have more grace, mercy, love, compassion than me;
May we all be empty vessels to be filled by You.

Poem, True Life, Tuesday, July 12, 2010

Posting this Monday, but it will be my blog for Tuesday. Tuesday is a little crazy, so wanted to get a head start on things. Not in iambic pentameter, but a rough Sonnet.

Burning fire in my veins the passion flows,
Where can I go to release all of this confusion?
As quickly as live comes, so intensely it goes.
This must not, could not all be an illusion.

What can I make of my soul and sexuality?
There are constant eyes to the sins of the past,
Many of those sins were from ones I had no immunity,
And some stayed forever, while others went so fast.

I am left with my passion, love, and story--
Which brings light that awakens some
And sends others further into the darkened quarry.
Will there be darkness or the light of the Awesome?

That is all I really have in this life,
The One who is and is to come as True Life.

Squirrel, Monday, July 12, 2010

This is a one minute sketch from a photo a a squirrel that was taken out the window in my house mate's sister's house in Texas. They had squirrels everywhere there. It was so green and lush compared to Tucson.

Little Chick, Sunday, July 11, 2010

This is a little wet into wet chick. As i was working on stuff today, I was thinking that I need to devote some time to my mother, son portrait that I need to do for my friend this is my third mother child portrait that I have done for her. Perhaps, I can do the progression of the portrait here on the blog.

Goldfish, Friday, July 9, 2010

This is another watercolor fish from the Painting Chinese Watercolors. This was a splashing Goldfish that I did. It was supposed to be more wet into wet, but I was doing it in a thin sketchbook paper and I did not want the paper to buckle, so I did not do it too wet. Would love to do it bigger on watercolor paper sometime.

Bubble Eye Fish, Thursday, July 8, 2010

This was a fun fish to paint out of the Painting Chinese Watercolors. I like painting fish they are fun. Susan inspired me to look at fish again from her blog from the California fish that she painted. The Painting Chinese Watercolors is my favorite animal painter it is by Lian Quan Zhen. I just use watercolor paper. This one was actually done in a sketch book.